I think this would be an accurate description of this semester so far... there'll be days when
your heart will break and
you'll swear that all your strength is gone but then you'll find a way to carry on...
heaven knows that it's a crazy ride
it's never perfect all the time
it'll pull you down and send you flyin'
so baby hold on tight
on this crazy ride
[michelle branch - crazy ride]
*note: new album due out this summer! "Everything Comes and Goes"
I don't know what it is exactly, but
something about this semester just makes it so much harder than last
semester. It's more draining, tiring, and stressful in multiple ways:
physically, emotionally, and even spiritually at times. It's been
forcing me to really cling to Jesus and be more proactive about my
spiritual life, but seriously sometimes...it's just so hard. I'm
always tired. Sometimes I feel like every day is a struggle to have a
good attitude, keep things in perspective, and just stay awake and get
my work done. It has its fun times too, though they are rare
occurrences (or we make things fun to stay sane), but I guess these
growing pains are just a little more painful than anticipated.
Hopefully, the end result of them will be a good one though... If
anything, I would say that in my college experience thus far I have
really just been learning...a lot...in every way possible, which I
guess is why it's easy to also feel overwhelmed because the learning
happens everywhere, all the time, and not just in class and not just
academically, but in every aspect of my life. I guess that's also the
point of college, huh?
People always tend to get a little more reflective around this time of year...or rather, around the changing of years. I can't say that I've completely sorted through my jumble of thoughts just yet, but I think that 2008 was probably the most exciting and dynamic years so far. I graduated high school and then I went to college on the other side of the country. That's already a lot. It had its ups and downs as every year does, but I think that overall '08 was still a fantastic year. Let's see what '09 has in store...here's to an exciting, joyful new year.
One month ago I arrived on the east coast bewildered and in shock and denial that I was going to spend the next 4 years of my life living mostly on the other side of the country. One month later, it's still weird that I'm out here, but after going through a rough patch, settling in, and relying fully on Jesus...I'm starting to find community and good friends. God is SO good in all the ways He has taken care of me with all of His little provisions out here through friends of friends, randomly meeting people, and just His orchestration and way of setting things up. He's really taken care of me over here, and not surprisingly, in ways better than I could ever have imagined. The workload is still a little rough, obviously a lot harder and more time-consuming than high school (let's be real, did I really work THAT hard in high school? I could've worked a LOT harder), but between last week and this week I can already see improvement in my time management and my ability to get on top of my work so hopefully as time goes on it will become even MORE manageable. Juggling playing and working has surprisingly not been as much of a struggle since I know all the other engineers are also always working, but I'm sure that as the semester goes on there will be more fun, appealing activities and obligations that will take time away from work - that's where having my work being more manageable will come in handy. The weather, honestly, is not as much fun though. However, I am spoiled and come from the place that pretty much has perfect weather 365 days a year. I guess it's nice to be able to call that place home though, huh? It's rained almost every weekend except move-in weekend and last weekend, which makes hanging out and socializing not as much fun, but makes you feel not as bad for doing homework on a Saturday. I went into this knowing that being a Christian at Brown was not necessarily going to be an easy thing with Brown being such a liberal school and all, but God has been awesome. I've managed to find a fellowship I really like and meet a bunch of cool people that I can find community with. It's not huge like most of the the college fellowships in California (RUF is already one of the bigger ones), which again shows how small the Christian community at Brown is, but in a way that's almost nicer because it enables you to get to know more people better instead of getting lost in the crowd. God's been awesome in helping me find a church that's very similar to CBC. Like a 300-person version. It's a little far, which makes it more of a hassle to go, but I've been enjoying it so far. Although I do want to visit another church called Renaissance sometime. It's supposed to be more contemporary and modern with a lot of college students, so it seems very Flood-like. Seriously though, this processes ended up being a lot easier than I had anticipated. I miss you all at home, but I'm doing okay, I promise! I'm glad I've been able to keep up with most of you at home and still hang out with people here. Don't let me fall off the face of the earth! I'm a little sick this week, but then agan I was sick the first week I was here too, go figure.
It's rained almost every weekend except move-in weekend and last weekend, which makes hanging out and socializing not as much fun, but makes you feel not as bad for doing homework on a Saturday.
I'm a little sick this week, but then agan I was sick the first week I was here too, go figure.